Shake Off the Shame

Well, here I am again. It's been over a year since my last post.

(I sound a little like I'm at a 12-step meeting, don’t I?)

The good news is that since I last wrote, I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers (online, this time) and have lost some weight. It turned out to be the right decision, and I had an excellent experience. Generally, I've been getting in more steps and eating better. My husband and I also celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in April (with a cruise!) and my birthday in a May.

The not-so-good news?

Let’s just say these celebrations have involved some... extended eating.

Okay, fine. What’s done is done, and I had a blast. But I do NOT want to completely undo what took so many months and considerable effort to accomplish.

Plus, I bought new clothes—some of which are not yet fully paid for.

So it’s time to get back on track, and blogging encourages accountability.

How’s it going for you?

I hope it's going great! If so, I welcome the inspiration your answer provides. 😊

If not, I invite you to join me in shaking off any shame you may be feeling about whatever situation you are in, and let’s get moving again—slowly but surely. 🐢

A May Monday Check-In

What’s working?

Feasting on Beauty — such as the beautiful tulips and azaleas in bloom when my husband and I recently visited the Biltmore Estate.

Smoothies — I don’t like many veggies, so it’s a great way for me to get more greens/fiber/nutrients than I otherwise might.

Birthday Festivities — I had the day off on my birthday, and Bill took me out for a wonderful steak dinner that evening!


What’s not?

Walking — I didn’t meet my step goals this week.

Clutter — I’m overdue for some serious spring cleaning, and I suspect there’s a relationship between the excess weight I'm hanging on to and all the other stuff I need to get rid of but haven’t.

Monday Check-In Posts — I've missed two.


In the Works:

I’m going to start adding some blog posts that aren’t just check-ins and will share more of the things I've been pondering, of late.

I'm also starting to watch for advertised deals on the online Weight Watchers program, as I anticipate signing up within the coming month.

Attitude adjustment! This one is very much a work in progress, but I'm trying to reframe some of my plans (such as joining Weight Watchers and walking more) as things I have reason to look forward to, rather than to dread.


YOUR TURN: Any suggestions of blog posts you’d like to see from me? Anyone else interested in signing up for Weight Watchers online? Or maybe you already have and would like to share a bit about your experience?

Monday Check-in Time!

What's working?

Celebration! Today is our 24th wedding anniversary, and we are spending it in one of my favorite places: Charleston, South Carolina! Getaways are terrific for mental health, and historic Charleston is wonderfully walkable, so that's also great for physical health.

Walking — A friend recommended some new insoles developed for plantar fasciitis, which I'm thrilled about! It's so much easier to walk when you are not uncomfortable.

Seafood — Not living near the sea, I think of good seafood as a special treat, but our little trip to the ocean is inspiring me to incorporate more shrimp, scallops, and fish into my day-to-day eating.

Color — Food isn’t the only thing we can savor and/or feast on, and this time of year we are surrounded by more and more color with each passing day. Color makes me feel happy without making me gain weight, so it’s something I've decided to focus on. I painted my nails this past weekend for the first time in ages! Skillful use of color is also a key to more satisfying meals. There’s truth to the saying that, “We eat with our eyes.”

Gratitude Journal — Super easy. Very uplifting. I’m doing mine online. Near the end of your day, you simply jot down 5 things for which you are grateful. This practice can magically effect where you focus your attention. I find myself watching all day for new things to appreciate!


What’s not?

Water — I’m not drinking enough of it. Fortunately, I actually like to drink water, so this should be easy to solve. I just need to be more intentional about it.

Charger for my Fitbit — I forgot to pack mine! I used to have two for my old Fitbit, which was quite handy and helped me avoid this issue. I’d like to get an extra for my newer Charge 2, as well.

Sleep — I’m not getting enough. It’s not a new issue for me, but as I get older it feels even more important. I've read that not sleeping enough can have an adverse affect on weight loss. This is an area I want to make some serious progress on.


In the Works:

I’m gonna start tracking the water I drink. I've used my Fitbit app to do this in the past, so that’s my plan.

I’m already tracking my sleep (via Fitbit). What I need is to get more of it, on a regular basis.

I’m watching for more ways to use color and seafood in my cooking (and am open to your suggestions)!



YOUR TURN: What has helped you with the things I’m working on above? What personal practices help you refresh your wellness journey? Thanks for joining me as we learn to take better care of ourselves and one another.

Monday Check-in

It’s time for the first weekly check-in since my recent wellness reboot!

What’s working?

My Fitbit. I bought a new model with a few more features in January, and it’s quite motivating. I’m meeting my step goal most days.

Gratitude. So important for me. In fact, I’m thinking I may resume a more formal gratitude practice.

Springtime! This time of year is filled with such promise. I find it inspiring..

My cookware. I just got a new Le Creuset braiser that I absolutely love! I’m looking forward to doing some healthy cooking in it.


What’s not?

Well, for starters, I couldn’t decide whether or not to hyphenate “check-in.”

Food. That's rather broad, I realize, but I'm all over the map in my eating—not only with what foods I'm choosing, but the timing of meals, portion control, etc. I need to come up with more of a plan.


In the Works:

A formal gratitude practice—probably in the form of a simple gratitude journal, as that has worked well for me in the past.

A deadline. For a number of reasons (including my upcoming wedding anniversary and birthday), I'm reluctant to start a whole new eating plan right now, but if I am not moving decidedly in the right direction by the end of May, I'm going to watch for a deal on the online Weight Watchers program and sign up.

It’s been years since I've followed Weight Watchers. It was a very positive experience, but I'm sure there have been many changes since I lost weight on the program. If you are on Weight Watchers, I'd love to hear from you! Which plan are you on? How do you like it?



YOUR TURN: What’s working for you, and what isn’t? What one change could you make—however small—that you know would make a positive difference in your health?

Refreshment

It's springtime! Change is in the air. New growth. Lighter, brighter colors and flavors. Nature in all its finery. There is a freshness to the season and a sense of true potential. Seeds are being planted, both literally and metaphorically.

Easter was mere days ago, when the spiritually-minded among us often focus on redemption, renewal, resurrection.

On the more practical/mundane side, spring cleaning is also an important focus this time of year. Out with the old—those things which no longer serve us—and in with the new. It's a time for letting go, a season of refreshment.

I’m looking forward to shedding some extra “stuff” that I've been hanging on to for far too long. That includes extra pounds I've been carrying and clutter that's cramping my style.

As you may have noticed, my blog has a new name, as does my Twitter account (@wellnessrefresh). I invite you to join me, especially on Mondays, for a weekly check-in: what's working, what's not, and what changes are in the works.

I'd love to hear from you, either in the comments or on Twitter, to learn how your health and wellness journey is progressing. What kinds of refreshment are you ready for?

Wellness Reboot

I’m feeling the need for some accountability and thinking of blogging again, starting with a weekly check in post that touches on what is working, what’s not, and changes I'm putting in place with regard to health and wellness in my life. A check in—not a weigh in. Monday seems like the best day for such a post, doesn’t it?

So I invite you to watch for my Monday posts!

In the meantime, I’m pondering the name of this blog. It could use an update, but I'm not sure yet to what. I somewhat reluctantly chose “No Need To Weight” years ago, when it turned out that my first dozen or so ideas were already in use by other bloggers. Another idea had been, “Weight No More.” Since that idea was taken, I tried to retain a similar play on words with No Need To Weight. But it never quite worked. Maybe I just need a fresh start. In any case, I'm considering a name change for the blog (and accompanying Twitter feed) as I reboot. Stay tuned...

Emerging

It's been quite a year. In June of 2012, my beloved mother was diagnosed with cancer. 12 long hard months later, she drew her last breath. My biggest and most important job during that time was being mom's primary caregiver through the chemo, the surgeries, the clinic and ER visits, and ultimately her funeral. Thankfully, there were silver linings along the way but also many challenges, including my father's heart attack last January, even as mom was struggling to overcome large blood clots in her lungs--an unexpected side affect of her bladder removal surgery.

Until 2012, mom was always the healthy one, seeing my dad through one health problem after another: Stroke. Diabetes. Colon cancer. Kidney failure. Until one day, to her great surprise and ours, mom became the patient.

Our last trip together was to Charleston, South Carolina. 

I'm still processing the events of the past 13 months. It's often hard to believe that mom is really gone and not coming back. In some ways, it feels almost like I've been living in a cave, isolated from the real world. When I emerged from the cave, I encountered all the things I've neglected for the past year, and it's a long list. My dad still requires a great deal of help, as well, not all of which he's entirely receptive to.

Overwhelm has perhaps been my greatest ongoing challenge. I think I expected to feel more relief by now, but so far it hasn't worked out that way. I am grateful that my mom is no longer in pain, so there is an element of relief in that, to be sure, but the rest still feels pretty relentless, even though the scenery has changed a bit.

So for now, my work is to simply do what I can, as mindfully as I can, knowing I won't get all caught up in a day or a week or even a month. In this moment, I don't have to know exactly how I will be able to cross the finish line. I only have to know how to take the next step.

Back in the Saddle

ICEBERG!

I have felt a bit stuck with regard to my health and fitness goals ever since the December holidays. I've had a few good moments, but not enough of them to add up to significant progress. Finally, on the day after Easter I made my way back back to a Weight Watchers meeting and signed up for the new program. I can already tell it was a good decision. The iceberg I was headed for wasn't lettuce.


I had been thinking about returning for a while, not only for the support but to learn the new PointsPlus program, as there have been quite a few changes since my last experience with Weight Watchers.


One day last month, I found myself next door to the local WW center and stopped in to inquire about the weekly meeting schedule. Among other things, I learned that lifetime members at goal weight now have free access to all the great WW etools, including the points tracker, as long as they continue to weigh in once per calendar month and stay within 2 pounds of their goal weight.


Free access to etools is a nice perk for lifetime members. In fact, it had been something of a pet peeve of mine that we had to continue to pay each month to use the online points tracker even after achieving lifetime status. I paid to keep using WW etools for an additional year or more, but after a while enough was enough, so I discontinued my subscription--and tracking all my food. Having now rejoined the program, I'm looking forward to not having to pay once I make it back down to my goal.

Another thing I'm excited about is that on the PointsPlus program (unlike the original Points program on which I initially lost my weight) most fresh or frozen fruits and non-starchy veggies are ZERO points. Not only does that encourage healthy eating, but it means I never have to worry about having what I used to call a "hungry day," when I was out of my budgeted daily points but still craved something far more substantial than celery or sugar-free Jello! On the new program, there is always something you can eat without going off the program. Somehow, just knowing that makes the fear of getting hungry less of an issue.


It also makes tracking your points less tedious because you don't have to account for every bite of cantaloupe or broccoli you put in your mouth. There's less to track and less to measure. I especially like that it encourages you to listen to your body for signs of satiety rather than relying entirely on external measures and daily allotments. At the same time, it does help you establish appropriate boundaries and healthier thinking about food and activity. I was impressed with the program before, and I'm even more impressed now.


My husband decided to join and go to meetings with me this time around, which will be great for both of us! It's so much easier when everyone in the same household is on a similar food and exercise plan.


So, as of April 9th, I'm back in the saddle, as they say. So far, I'm not losing weight quite as quickly in my 50s as I did in my 40s, but at least I'm on track and losing again--not to mention consistently making healthier food choices and already feeling better. It's not a radical departure from how I was trying to eat and move anyway, but I now have better tools and support in place to do so more easily and consistently.

Our Bodies as Allies

I came across this image on the internet today and started thinking about what amazing things our bodies are.

I only wish the picture didn't illustrate one of the relatively rare and quite specific types of body that our society has deemed lovable: young, slender, white, blemish-free, symmetrical.

I cannot fathom even a fraction of the complex and intricate work our bodies do, minute by minute, day and night. Even when overwhelmed by illness or neglect, bodies continue to do their best for us. 

Yet, too often, we treat our bodies as though they are our enemies. We insult and mistreat them. We withhold the basic care required do what bodies are designed to do.

Not only is it a waste of energy to direct that kind of negativity toward such an incredible ally, it leads us into even more damaging acts of deprivation and punishment.

Honesty Check: Do you ever think of going on a diet (or going to the gym) as punishment for excesses, lack of willpower, or being unsightly, in some way?

What if instead we joyfully gave our bodies the nourishment and attention they need to thrive?

If the only exercise you ever get is kicking yourself, maybe it's time to re-think that approach.

TUESDAY TIP: Start Where You Are

What could be more obvious? Where else would you start, right?

But how many times do we decide to wait until ?

...until Monday.

...until I'm in a better frame of mind.

...until my life calms back down.

...until I can afford a gym membership.

...until the kids are in school.

...until after the holidays.

Occasionally, this actually works. If you set a realistic start date not too far into the future and really plan toward that date, you may help facilitate your own success. 

Too often, though, it doesn't turn out that way.

Monday passes or school starts and we come up with a new reason to procrastinate, moving our deadline farther into the future. In the meantime, we put off taking proper care of our bodies and probably feel pretty bad about ourselves for it.

Of course, it's only January 3rd, so there's a good chance you're fully motivated and on track with your 2012 goals, at this point. If so, that's fantastic! 

But maybe, like me, your new year got off to a rockier start than you anticipated, or experience has taught you not to even make new year's resolutions. You may remember too many worthwhile projects or good intentions that you didn't follow through on.

For whatever reason, you may just not be in the mood.

That's okay. You don't have to be in the mood, and it doesn't have to be Monday or warm enough to walk outside. You don't have to have your fridge carefully stocked with fresh organic veggies and a spotless house. There's no need to wait until you can do everything perfectly, because--let's face it--that day never comes. No matter how committed or determined we may (or may not) be, some things are beyond our control. That's okay, too. Because we simply start wherever we are: each day, each hour, each minute.

Life can feel wonderful, on occasion, and I hope you are enjoying one of those occasions right now. At other times, however, those all-systems-go experiences feel like distant memories, and life can be downright overwhelming. Especially in those moments, the ability to move forward is often less about things we should add to our to do lists than about things we can stop doing to ourselves.

Whether you are high are on the mountaintop, deep in the valley, or somewhere along the hillside, you can take the next step toward health. It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you want it to be. My Tuesday tip is to not wait for fireworks--or for anything else.

Start wherever you are in this moment.

If you have a tip to share, I'd love to read it in the comments below!

Starting Fresh

     
“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

                                                                                            ~ John Lennon

It's the beginning of a new year, and people have been reviewing the last 12 months, formulating new goals, and setting new year's resolutions. There's something undeniably appealing about a fresh start.

I'm not arguing against any of these practices, but I am mindful of the fact that January 1st gets a lot of hype and high expectation even though, frankly, many resolutions don't have a great track record.

Nonetheless, I try to be optimistic about January 1st and usually ring in the new year with high hopes, so I was disappointed to find myself feeling ill only a couple of hours into 2012. Fortunately, it must have been some minor 24-hr bug, because I'm already feeling much better, but my big plans for the first day of the year and how I was going to get off to a great start completely tanked. I wasn't well enough to exercise, clean, organize, or do much of anything. Thankfully, by January 2nd I was not as weak as I had been the day before, but I still wasn't nearly well enough to jump in to any resolutions with both feet. 

I mention this little saga not to evoke sympathy (okay--mostly not) but because it was a great example of how the famous John Lennon quote above applies even on special occasions.

There's no denying that life doesn't always go according to plan, and I have to confess that I'm not nearly as excited about cautiously easing into my game plan this week as I was about enthusiastically jumping in on day one, but maybe it will be a good thing in the long run. There's a downside to assigning almost magical powers to any one particular day on the calendar when it comes to planning: if anything goes wrong, the whole plan may collapse like a house of cards.

In spite of all the hoopla about the new year, January 1st is in many ways a day just like any other.  If you get sick that day, you don't have to wait until another January 1st rolls around to re-start your plans, whatever they may be. By the same token, if you didn't get in gear and set goals yet for the new year, that doesn't mean you are too late.

At the end of the day, there's no real magic to starting anything on January 1st (or on Monday or after your vacation, or when the weather improves or you have more money...). 

You can make a fresh start any day. 

And there's no time like the present.

TUESDAY TIP: Celebrate the Small Victories

It hit me a few minutes after midnight.

Halloween was over, and I had eaten NO candy all day. 

None.

I'm pretty sure that was a first for me--at least since I've been old enough to eat candy.

No, I didn't find a cure for cancer. I didn't run a marathon or climb a mountain. I didn't even lose a pound.

Nonetheless, it was a small victory.

Small victories mark the path to bigger ones. No one loses 50 pounds in a day or becomes a bestselling author or concert pianist overnight. If you got a new job today, it's not because you had one good day, it's because you did a lot of things on a lot of days to make that achievement possible. Some of those things may have been little, but eventually they added up to a new job.

There is a subversive psychological phenomenon I've noticed when I start to celebrate a small victory--even privately. Almost as soon as it dawns on me that something good has happened, I feel the urge to downplay it. Have you had that experience? I think it's pretty common.

Maybe it comes from not wanting to show off or appear arrogant, but too often when you acknowledge an accomplishment--something positive you've done--a critical voice will pop up and attempt to invalidate that simple affirmation.

In my case, I had just realized that I made it through Halloween with no candy when I found myself thinking, "But I should have walked today, and I didn't."

It didn't stop there, either. Within 30 seconds I had a whole mental list of things I should have done, putting me back in my place and reminding me what an insignificant little drop in the bucket my "achievement" was.

Here's my theory: I suspect that critical voice prevails in so many of our internal conversations mainly because it gets so much more practice than our positive, celebratory voice. It's always easier to tear down something than it is to build, so exercise your positivity muscles by encouraging personal growth--however incremental--and celebrating every victory you can - small, medium, large, or microscopic.

Look for things to celebrate, creating them, if necessary:

• I just did two leg lifts before getting the milk out of the fridge.
• I looked both ways before I crossed the street.
• I didn't let that rude person push my buttons.
• I did 2 minutes of stretches at my desk after that stressful meeting.
• I noticed that I was satisfied while there was still food left on my plate, so I stopped eating.
• I did some slow calm deep breathing before I went back to my phone calls this afternoon.
• When I caught myself trying to eat my way out of a shame spiral, I stopped and put the cookies away.
• I drank 8 glasses of water today.
• I picked up some healthy snacks at the store this afternoon.
• I logged my food intake this morning.

Challenge yourself to come up with at least 3 each day. If your critical voice responds with discouragement or dismissiveness, counter with more encouragement.

Before long, you'll have even bigger victories to celebrate.


How about you?  Is there a tip you could share with the rest of us, today? It doesn't have to be exciting or original, just something that has helped you and might help others. Please leave your tips in the comments below. And be sure to celebrate the fact that you shared it as one of your small victories today!

From Convenience to Compliance

This principle is pretty obvious, yet I don't always take advantage of it:

Convenience tends to encourage compliance.

I had not even finished typing that sentence before I had a SHOULD ATTACK.

I SHOULD be committed no matter what.

I SHOULD do what is right, rather than what is convenient.

Fine.

But, contrary to what prevalent societal messages might imply, there is no virtue in doing something the hard way when it isn't necessary. Why not make doing the right thing convenient?

You know why all that junk is displayed in the checkout lane--things you might not walk across the store to buy but will occasionally toss into your cart while you are waiting? Sure you do. So does the store. The more convenient it is for you, the more likely you are to buy it.

Consider these questions about your health and fitness lifestyle:

1) What kinds of foods are the easiest to grab in your home at this moment?

2) If you decided that you wanted to exercise right now (or immediately before or after work), what would you have to do first? Find your walking shoes? Move furniture around and find a video or a mat or your pedometer or some weights? Drive across town to a gym?

3) How about your support system? When you need help related to eating or exercise, what do you do? Do you have support and/or resources already identified which you can access quickly and easily, when the need arises?

Here's my guess. If the answers were that 1) you usually have healthy snacks readily available and no candy or baked goods lying around under your nose 2) you already have a nearby place to exercise with a workout routine you've established and know exactly where your exercise shoes, clothes, and equipment are, and 3) you have a good support system in place, then I'll bet you are doing well with your fitness goals.

Most of us know, at least generally, what kinds of choices will move us in the direction of health and wellness, but it's easy to let them slide. The key is making it as easy as possible to keep the promises you make to yourself, like eating better and moving more.

I've done fairly well with my own weight loss goals, and I'm physically stronger than I was 6 months ago, mostly from exercising regularly at a local gym, but there's definitely still room for improvement. It's time for me to take a look at my day-to-day routine and find new ways to encourage consistently healthy choices and discourage choices that set me back or slow me down.

How about you? What are some things you've done to make it easier to stay on track? Are there additional changes you can put in place to facilitate doing the right thing? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Breaking a Few Crayons

I once had an elementary school art teacher who made us break all of our new crayons in half and take the protective paper off. As a proud owner of my very first 64 pack of Crayolas with a built-in sharpener, I was not enamored with this instruction.

To this day, I believe that particular teaching moment, which launched the school year and all of our upcoming art classes together, could have been handled much more gracefully. But at least as an adult I better understand the point my teacher was attempting to make.

Trying to keep things "just so" can severely inhibit creativity and exploration. My art teacher didn't want us being overly careful not to press too hard when coloring or distracted by the specific names of all the colors. She wanted us to actively experiment, making our art boldly rather than timidly and using the sides of our crayons as well as the points. She knew that--in the long run--breaking our crayons would actually be freeing. She may also have been mindful of the students who didn't have brand new boxes of crayons to use and who might have felt diminished by comparison. Brokenness can be an equalizer.

The broken crayon concept carries over into other areas of life. If you've ever driven a brand new car or invested in a new paint job on an old vehicle, you know how cautiously you drive and park at first, wanting to keep it shiny and pristine for as long as possible. Eventually, though, you will encounter a mud puddle or a shopping cart.

A fresh manicure also requires extra caution. (Ever paint your nails too close to bed time and end up with sheet marks?)

I'm certainly not arguing against taking appropriate care in what we do, but the fear of messing up is not a very satisfying motivator. Besides, let's face it. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty or be willing to sweat a little bit.

I've been using a free website called SparkPeople.com in my recent weight loss efforts. There are lots of resources on the site: recipes, food and exercise trackers, health-related articles, exercise information, social networking, motivational tools, and more. You can use as few or as many as you like.

One of the clever little things you can do there is to collect "SparkPoints" by using the various tools on the site to make progress toward your goals. You earn points from reading health articles, drinking 8 cups of water in a day, taking a Spark poll or quiz, exercising, trying a new Spark recipe, creating a blog post, reading a Spark email, or a host of other helps. The site also tracks your "SparkStreaks" which record how long you have stuck with particular goals that you have set up, such as logging into the site every day, drinking enough water, journaling 3 days a week, or walking 5 days a week.

I have to admit that SparkPoints are the very kind of thing I often roll my eyes at, but, once I tried it, I found that tracking these points was actually kind of fun and did offer some welcome motivation, so I decided to stick with it.

I had logged on to SparkPeople.com to track my points every single day since I signed up to participate in early July of this year. Some days there wasn't much to record, and I was only on the site for a minute or two. Other days I took the time to read a few articles or watch a 5 minute exercise video. But at the very least, I logged on every day...

Until last Sunday.

I thought about logging on to SparkPeople a couple of different times. I even reminded my husband to be sure to track his SparkPoints. But I got distracted with something and remembered at 10 minutes past midnight that I had not tracked any points that day. By then, it was too late. I had broken my streak.

I am embarrassed to admit how disappointing I initially found this realization to be. Mind you, these points and streaks have no monetary value but are simply an invented incentive to stick with your program and progress through various levels. Still, I was pretty bummed.

It felt almost like discovering the first ding in my car door in the Kroger parking lot or breaking the first Crayola in my 64 pack. It was no longer perfect.

Yes, here we go again. Yet another appearance from my insidious little friend, perfectionism and her all-or-nothing thinking.

And here's the really silly part: Having now broken the spell of this magical "streak," I've been mucking around in oh-why-bother-ville ever since... as though accidentally not logging on to a website one day suddenly gave me license to overeat and procrastinate about exercise again!

Since Sunday night, I've decided that breaking that little streak was probably a good thing. I was getting just a wee bit obsessive about my SparkPoints, to the degree that they may have been more of a distraction than an aid. I'm back to using the site again, but without as much attention to points or streaks and with more focus on making use of information which can directly assist me in achieving my healthy living goals.

I've said before that I believe the way we think about eating and moving is at least as important as the actual food we eat and exercise we do, because thinking has a profound effect on doing.

Hitting this little snag helped me notice another area where my thinking needed some attention. Having now considered what happened when I ran off the rails momentarily, it's time to get back on board. I had a wonderful healthy salad at lunch today, and I'm headed back to the gym tonight.

How about you? Are there any "crayons" you need to break so they won't hold you back?

Keeping Promises

I'm challenging myself to write a fairly brief blog post this time.

It's related to the whole perfectionism/procrastination thing.

Even though I often think of things I'd like to blog about, I tend to put off writing until I've had time to expand on those thoughts for a while.

Then (being an inexperienced blogger) I don't always narrow down my topic enough; I want to be thorough; I lose sight of the fact that I can always write more on the same topic later; and almost before I know it I've written an EPISTLE.

So, what does all this have to do with health or fitness?

I have similar tendencies with eating and exercise.

I will put off exercise until I can do "my whole routine" or "a longer walk," but once I finally make it to the gym, I frequently stay later than I had planned.

I may skip breakfast (yes, I know better!) but once I start eating, I may find it hard to stop, even when I know I've had enough.

I've noticed that we recovering perfectionists sometimes have difficulty with the concept of *enough.*

I'll probably write more about "enoughness" one day.

But, not today...

Because I've written enough for the moment, and I'm learning to do a better job of keeping promises to myself.

What promise to yourself will you keep today?

(I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.)

Time for Tuesday Tips!

It's Tuesday again! Please take a moment to share a healthy living tip in the comments below.

It doesn't have to be original or exciting, just something you've found helpful.

Here's my tip for this week:

Spoil your appetite!

Did your mom ever tell you not to eat something right before dinner because it would, "spoil your appetite"?

Put this principle to good use by having a healthy snack shortly before any meal at which you might be tempted to overeat. Or begin your meal with a low-cal salad. Then take your time and eat slowly throughout your meal, chewing each bite thoroughly and putting your eating utensils down between bites.

Remember that it takes about 20 minutes after ingesting food for your brain to begin to register feelings of satiety or "fullness." So give your brain time to catch up with your belly.

Similarly, it's a good idea to have something healthy to eat before going to a party--especially if you suspect that wise choices may be limited once you get there.

Drinking plenty of water also helps you feel satisfied with less food and (other) drink.

Now it's your turn...

Just leave your Tuesday Tip in the comments below.  No idea is too small!

The 'C & R Brothers

Perfectionism sometimes rears its ugly head for me in all-or-nothing thinking.

I get an idea in my mind, a goal I want to achieve--maybe making a big splash at an upcoming reunion by showing up 30 pounds lighter.

So far, so good. A vision is a wonderful thing.

My idea is big enough to require considerable time and effort to pull off. I think it's do-able, but not easily. It will require multiple steps to achieve.

I want the whole picture, though--the full effect. If I "only" lose 10 or 15 pounds, I'll still weigh more than I did the last time most of them saw me.

I know that to lose 30 pounds in the 4 months until the reunion will be a challenge. I'll really have to pull out all the stops and make this a top priority.

Then I begin to consider all the other things I also need to attend to in the next few months...

Enter my old friend Procrastination with his sidekick, Rationalization.

'Cras and Rash, we'll call them.

'Cras points out that I can't possibly make the lifestyle shift required without purging my kitchen of all unhealthy junk and restocking it with only fresh, whole foods and maybe even installing a state-of-the art water filtration system. In other words, a major project before I can even begin. Ugh.

Rash reminds me that it is Thursday, and NO ONE starts a diet on a Thursday. Besides, it would be wasteful to just throw out all the unhealthy food currently in the kitchen, so I have until Monday to eat it all (by which time I will have more than 30 pounds to lose).

'Cras also explains that since I let my gym membership lapse years ago, it's become more expensive to join, so I'll have to wait for them to run a special before I try to sign up again.

Before I can think through any viable alternatives, Rash tells me that what little I can do in the way of exercise at home in the meantime isn't going to be enough to make a dent in the amount of weight I have to lose, so there's no need to even consider it.

I'm sure you already know that the ending to this tale does NOT include a grand entrance at the reunion in a size 6. More likely, I'll be sitting at home that night in sweats instead, eating donuts and berating myself again for my lack of willpower.

When it comes to visits from the 'C & R brothers, it doesn't matter whether you want to lose 30 pounds or 300. They are equal-opportunity uninvited guests. But you don't have to let procrastination and rationalization in just because they have knocked on your door with their all-or-nothing sales pitch. There is plenty of middle ground to be explored instead.

Yes, sometimes long-held dreams or a bold vision will inspire sweeping changes that catapult us to achieve lofty goals in record time. It's wonderful when we have those dramatic WOW experiences, but it's not the only way important things get done.

If a show-stopping 180-degree turn-around doesn't look promising for any reason, we aren't out of options. We needn't give up or wait for another grand inspiration, which may or may not arrive.

The conventional wisdom is that we have to double down, get tough with ourselves, step up our game, make it all happen. But there are times when a kinder, gentler approach is more appropriate. The results may not be as dramatic, but neither is there a high crash-and-burn potential when we make adjustments gradually. 

We can choose to proceed imperfectly, knowing that we aren't necessarily positioned for an impressive showing but also recognizing that something is almost always better than nothing. 

If you can't fit 30 minutes of exercise into your day, start with 10...

Or 5...

Even ONE.

If you aren't ready to commit to all aspects of a healthy eating plan, start by drinking more water and reducing your food intake only slightly. Begin to make a few healthy substitutions.

Even if you can't slip into that little black dress in time for the reunion, you can be healthier than you are now, and that's enough to matter.


How we think is every bit as important as how we eat or how we move.

The act of simply taking whatever small steps we reasonably can at the moment is such an obvious concept, but when we are caught in a downward spiral of poor choices and self-loathing we convince ourselves that the idea of doing so little is worthless in the face of the task ahead.

Or maybe life is actually going pretty well, so we are not groping around in some emotional black hole, but perfectionism still convinces us that it's not worth doing anything until we can do it "right."

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I did so in a determined and disciplined way. After a long period of procrastination I finally bit the bullet, joined Weight Watchers, and followed the plan religiously. I could tell you how many "points" were in almost anything. I could also tell you the date I joined, the date I reached my goal and shifted to "maintenance," and the date I became a "Lifetime Member." Although mine was not one of those incredible weight loss stories you sometimes see on television or in magazines, my friends and family knew I was on a mission, and it was indeed life-changing for me, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

This time it's far sloppier, but no less important.

I knew I had let some of my good habits slide and needed to get back on track, but frankly I had other things on my mind and wasn't entirely in the mood to deal with it. I reluctantly got started on the food part of things before I felt ready to exercise, and I'm still experimenting with various approaches to eating, uncertain about whether or not I want to count Weight Watchers points again. Even now that I'm in full gear with both healthier eating and regular exercise, the excess weight is coming off more slowly than before.

At one point, I began to ask myself, "Why bother?"

Why am I putting myself through all this effort for such incremental results?

My answers...

• Slowly feeling better and better beats the hell out of slowly feeling worse and worse. 
• Doing something imperfectly is still better than doing nothing at all. 
• Being well enough to live the kind of life I want to live is important to me, even if slow progress is all I can manage right now. 
• And I suspect that these less dramatic changes may actually be more realistic for me to maintain, long-term, than strict adherence to a more formal weight-loss program.

Once 'Cras & Rash have been ushered out, what initially seemed impossible becomes easier and easier. Now that I've finally gotten started on my imperfect path, it isn't the dreary undertaking I had convinced myself it would be, and my slow progress has actually begun to speed up. 

When you hit a bump in the road--and you will--that's okay. It doesn't erase every good thing you've done. Nor does it mean you can't move forward again. Just take the next little step.

Share a TUESDAY TIP!

Each Tuesday, I'm inviting readers to share a brief healthy living tip in the comment section of this blog. It doesn't have to be profound or even original--just something you have found helpful.

It could be a product, food, or easy recipe, a website you like, a quote that motivates you, a smart phone app you track exercise on, a habit you have cultivated, or pretty much anything that others might like to know (or be reminded) about.

Here's my "Tuesday Tip" for this week:

It's a food product I learned about at a Weight Watchers meeting several years ago, although it's not a Weight Watchers product. Unfortunately, this won't be helpful to those of you going the low-carb or gluten-free route, but if you are on a more traditional low-cal and/or low-fat eating plan and you like bagels, check out The Alternative Bagel by Western Bagel.

They are a little on the small side and not quite as dense as regular bagels, but they are quite good for 110 calories each (and much better than the Weight Watcher's brand, IMHO... Do they still make those?). Alternative Bagels are high in fiber and low in sugar and fat, with no trans fat and no high fructose corn syrup. They are available in six varieties: country white, roasted onion, sweet wheat, cinnamon spice, very blueberry, and Italian herb. All have less than half the calories of their traditional counterparts.

I get mine at Publix, in the bakery/deli area, but if you can't find them at your local grocery store it is also possible to order them online at www.westernbagel.com. They do freeze well, in case you want to buy some extras once you find them or when they are on sale. (Last week, they were buy one - get one free at Publix!)

How about you? What tip can you pass along this week that has helped you in establishing a healthier lifestyle?

Please encourage others to leave tips in the comments, as well. I look forward to your ideas!

Time for Tuesday Tips!

I'd like to try a little experiment, if you would be willing to indulge me...

On Tuesdays, I'm inviting readers to share a brief healthy living tip in the comment section of this blog. It doesn't have to be profound or even original--just something you have found helpful.

It could be a food or easy recipe you especially enjoy, a website you like, a quote that motivates you, a smart phone app you track exercise on, or pretty much anything that others might like to know (or be reminded) about.

Here's my "Tuesday Tip" for this week:

If you are tracking the calories, carbs, or Weight Watchers points, etc. of your foods, use a permanent marker to clearly indicate the serving size and number of points, or what-have-you, on the various packages/boxes in your pantry or fridge, so you can easily see it at a glance. When feasible, go ahead and divide foods into individual servings (and mark those), so you can quickly grab a pre-measured serving and know immediately how much you are getting.

How about you?  What Tuesday Tip can you share with the rest of us?

Motivation vs. Willpower

My husband and I were returning from the local gym after a workout recently.  We finally decided to invest in a membership and have just begun to establish new exercise routines. "I know this isn't a very positive way to put this," I said to Bill, "but I didn't hate that as much as I thought I would." I've been pleasantly surprised that in spite of some added physical challenges--not to mention age--since I last worked out on a regular basis, I'm finding my new routine to be quite doable.

Around the same time, I was excited to receive my first blog request: a friend suggested that I might write about "mind over matter" when it comes to choices and portion control. So I've been thinking about that topic while learning to use the cardio equipment at the fitness center.

When I hear the phrase "mind over matter" I think of willpower, and certainly there are times on a health journey when willpower is required. You can read, journal, and think about what to do all you want; but at some point you still have to do it.

I suspect one reason so many diets fail, though, is that they rely too heavily on willpower--on forcing ourselves to do things we dislike. For most of us, there's a limit to how long we are willing to feel deprived, and we spend most diets looking forward to the day we can finally stop and do whatever we please again. Hello, Yo-Yo Syndrome.

It seems to me that when it comes to portion control and other healthy choices, the less willpower required, the better. Instead, we should establish as enjoyable and sustainable a healthy lifestyle as possible. In short: We need to focus on positive motivation rather than sheer willpower.

This is where knowing yourself is essential, because not all of us are motivated by the same things. Point systems, meetings, trainers, internet programs, recipe books, journals, online support groups...  there are a million tools available, but you have to choose the ones which you personally find to be most encouraging, inspiring, or--at the very least--helpful.

The tricky part is that sometimes we don't know as much about ourselves as we think we do. So, I find that the combination of remaining open to different approaches (when I can manage to do that) and a little trial-and-error can be surprisingly effective. I was sure I would hate working out at the gym, but it turns out I don't. I didn't like my first workout, but within 2 weeks working out on those machines went from something I dreaded to something I don't usually mind. I can even imagine looking forward to it. In fact, I'm already looking forward to getting stronger. I was reading a book yesterday which quoted stats indicating that this kind of positive shift is common among exercisers who start slowly and gradually. They begin to look forward to exercise as they get better at it and experience its many benefits.

If after 2 or 3 weeks, however, I found that I was dreading the gym more and more instead of the other way around, it would be time to make some changes, based on honest inquiry: What is it about workouts that I so dislike, and what could I change to make them more pleasant? An "outdoor person" may never be satisfied working out in a gym except as a back-up plan. A morning person may feel too tired to exercise after work. A social and/or competitive person may prefer team sports to a gym workout, while an introvert may do better with exercise videos at home.

The same approach applies to food. If you eat mostly "diet food" that you find bland and uninspiring, it's well worth doing enough homework to discover more of the abundant options available. With a little research, you can find healthy food choices which you truly enjoy and that also meet your particular requirements, from easy preparation to working around allergies or other conditions. It's so much easier to stick with healthy eating if the nutritious foods you eat are also foods you love and look forward to.

When it comes to portion control, again, for me, the key is to set things up in such a way that I don't have to feel deprived or hungry much of the time. No one wants to sign up for long-term misery. It's essential to do some internal investigation to determine if the hunger I am trying to satisfy is primarily physical or not. If so, I might increase foods with a high water content so that I can eat larger quantities. Or maybe in my impatience to see quick results I've gone overboard with restricting fats and need to sprinkle a few nuts or a little low-fat cheese into my meals in order to feel more satisfied with a single portion.

Of course, if what I really want from food is comfort, companionship, security, or relief from pain and stress, I need to find better ways to more directly address those issues. I might benefit from additional time spent with friends, individual or group therapy, a 12-step program, Weight Watchers meetings, or a class on managing my finances. Or perhaps something even simpler would help address those needs without food, like a bubble bath, listening to music, taking a walk, calling a friend, or conversing on Twitter. Unfortunately, a side-effect of dieting can be obsessing over food, so remembering to consciously place your attention on things beyond food part of the time is essential.

But here's a key point about food and distraction: focus attention away from the food you want to avoid--extra helpings or unhealthy choices--but not from all food. Pay attention to what you actually eat and the choices you make as you are eating. It may be helpful to distract yourself from the leftovers after a meal by engaging in another activity away from the remaining food. But don't distract yourself from a meal that you are in the middle of eating. If we want the food we eat to satisfy us, we need to eat it slowly and mindfully, savoring every moment. Enjoy not only the flavor, but the colors, textures, and aromas. Notice when you begin to feel satisfied and stop before you feel too full--even if there is still food on your plate or nearby. Once we have had enough to eat, then it's time to shift our focus completely to something else and physically remove ourselves from the presence of additional food. Mindlessly plowing through a bag of chips or box of cookies is far too easy to do in front of the television or computer or while curled up with a book. So, when you eat, eat; when you are doing something else, don't eat.

Finally, we need to learn to be gentle with ourselves. Self-compassion is more important than we tend to acknowledge. It's tempting to slip into a punitive mindset while struggling to set appropriate limits regarding our food, but when we punish ourselves for overindulging, rather than consciously deciding what would best support us in achieving our goals, we set ourselves up for failure, disappointment, and shame. Punishment leads to misery, retaliation, or worse. Is that really where you want to go? Instead, be kind to yourself. Withholding kindness until you finally meet all your goals only intensifies feelings of deprivation and hopelessness, and the potential for rebound eating under those conditions is tremendous. Be kind now--whether or not things are going well. In fact, be extra kind when things are not going smoothly. We respond so much better to kindness than cruelty.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for motivating us to do what we need to do, but a prudent approach always involves paying attention--in this case to our needs and to the variety of ways we can adapt to them. Mindfulness may not be a magic wand, but paying attention can initiate miracles. And miracles are worth getting motivated about.